Wait times and the theory of relativity

Let me start off here by saying that I'm not one of those pharmacists that will just automatically say out of habit that the wait is 15 minutes, or 20, or even 60. I say it like it is. So, here at don'tcallmedoc Apothecary, when I say 10 minutes, I mean 10 minutes, give or take a few. When I say 15, you guessed it, I mean about 15.

I'm curious why this concept is so hard for the average patient to understand. I usually get a jolly out of those patients that say "Really? That long?" when I doll out a 15 minute wait time. "Yea, that long. Don't like it? Go up the street to the CVS and wait 45 if you like." I just want to know why I am not believed. If I didn't "mean" it, I wouldn't say it. Yea, I have a good sense of humor, I can joke around, make things up for the hell of it...but not at work where I certainly do not have the time for it.

The other side of that story are the patients that say "OK" and then proceed to just stand there, making sure the counter doesn't run away or something....totally oblivious to the 3 or 4 other people I need to help behind him/her. I don't know, maybe it's a part of Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity that I missed...does time move more slowly inside a pharmacy's frame of reference? I'll have to investigate that.

Another interesting question tonight - "Why don't your reciepts tear apart easily?"

Err...what?

Voice Mail

I received a call a few weeks ago from a local physician. He was surprised, and dismayed that he had to actually talk to a real live person. He proceeded to question me about why we have no voice mail system for physicians. I explained that we have a separate phone line for physicians (which was the one he called) that rings directly through to the pharmacist - no menus to navigate through etc...

He still wasn't satisfied. More questions followed.

"You mean to tell me you would rather talk to me?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, yes, actually. I prefer to talk to physicians/nurses etc... since it reduces the chance that I won't be able to understand, or misinterpret an order left hastily on the voicemail."

I've worked for one of the big McPharmacy companies - and the voicemail system, while a nice tool when things got really hairy was nothing but headaches. I seemed people just liked to talk really fast and leave off important information - like the prescriber's name. I got tired of people coming in to pick stuff up that couldn't be filled because the person phoning in the order forgot to leave the patient's name. Yea. That really happens. A lot.

Anyway, Dr. Feelgood thought it was ridiculous that I take the time to speak with him...he actually said "but your wasting your time on these phone calls."

Ok. Let's tally up the score here:

1) I have to spend the time listening to the phone regardless of if you are a real live person or not. If your calling in an order, it doesn't take much extra time for me to actually say "Hi" and "Bye" - just about the only extra time consuming information for "live" phone calls.

2) Ensuring accurate orders, with all information needed, is not a waste of time no matter how long it takes.

3) Let's not even talk about how much of my time (and yours) your wasting by even having this conversation.

4) I understand the concern about the physician 'wasting' time on hold waiting for the pharmacist. We go through that all the time waiting on hold to speak to someone at your office. Plus, at our pharmacy, there are no other humans in the pharmacy other than the pharmacist. You will get me each and every time. I promise.

All in all, a simple RX for amoxicillin took about 10 minutes to call in. Wanna talk about wasting time now?

The Coolest Student

I've been found out.

Outed, so to speak.

Well, sort of.

Here at DontCallMeDoc pharmacy, we've been hosting some summer pharmacy rotations. Our latest student managed to figure out DontCallMeDoc was me.

That's OK though, because I've sworn her to secrecy and if she ever talks, I'll tell the world about how she made one of our customers cry...

Yea. Cry.

Actually it wasn't really that big of a deal. This woman cries all the time...sometimes she even starts before she ever gets to our counter....but silly me didn't let my student in on that fact. She handled it admirably though, gotta hand it to her.

So, yea, that's my student story. Seriously though, Cool Student, it was fun...I'll miss ya!

:)

Drug Seekers and Prior Auth Hell

Number one on the list of things that I absolutely love to hear when I pick up the phone is "Yea, what brand of Percs do guys carry?" Don't you think it's cute how drug seekers give little pet names to their drugs?

I don't know what the hell was up today, but I got at least 6 questions like this today in some form or other. Some wanted to know if we carry a specific brand (ever hear a junkie try to pronounce Mallinckrodt? Pretty funny. Some even go so far as to give me the tablet identifiers - as in "I want the 510s".

Then there were the two scripts that look like they have been to about twenty pharmacies already. You know the type. Two different stickers on the back, DOB written on the front with a big 'W' on it....right underneath the note from some previous pharmacist that this guy got this last week. "Uh, I don't know what that's there for.". Yea right.

Totally unrelated, it was Prior Auth Hell today as well. Complete with the strangest one I've ever had to all for. Rx was for Orapred ODT which come packaged in one of those perforated foil unit dose thingies. You know, 6 individually wrapped tablets on 1 'sheet'. Each tablet can be ripped off of the sheet individually, without being removed from the foil. OK. Now I have an RX for 14 of these guys. The friggin insurance carrier needed a prior auth because the quantity dispensed was not a factor of 6. WTF? It took me the better part of 30 minutes to explain the complicated science behind unit dose packaging to this twit. Hopefully they take that particular edit out of their system so it saves some other poor soul the hassle.

Some days your the pigeon and some days your the statue. Today was a statue kinda day...

Alli and the Wonder of Pizza Oil

The Blonde Pharmacist recently wrote about the wonders of Alli, the diet pill previously known as Xenical. Actually, Xenical Jr, as it is not as strong as Xenical. So, it's even less effective. Anyway, it reminded me that I've been meaning to write about the Pharmacist's Information Package that arrived from GSK about a month ago.

First off, to all the pharmacists who have received this: What the hell are those red fuzzy things supposed to be in the 1 pound of lard fart model? Blood vessels? Pretty lame. To those who don't know what I'm talking about, GSK included a large, 1 pound life size model of...yep, fat. It's supposed to be used to demonstrate to the patient how even just one pound can make a difference. Yea, right.

Anyway, my favorite quote from the entire educational packet comes from a pamphlet that is supposed to be given to the patient. In describing all the nastiness that this drug can cause due to the fats not being absorbed, it describes the 'oily discharge' as being "like the oil that is on top of a slice of pizza." YUCK! Maybe the idea is to just disgust the patient enough to stop eating pizza.

Worked for me.

Lists

I was starting to write about a pet peeve I have - when people come up to the counter, look at you and say only their last name. That's it. Nothing more. Just "Smith". Then they look at you like your an idiot. I don't know, maybe I'm old fashioned but "Smith" is not a sentence, a request, or a question. It's a word. A name. That's it. Anyway, while I was writing I realised - I'm a retail pharmacist I have lots of pet peeves. So, ladies and gentlemen, here are some pet peeves from the world of retail pharmacy (In no particular order)

1. "Is it ready yet?" - As in, I answer the phone, and the first thing I hear is something like this. Or "Did you get it?", "Did my doctor call it in yet". There are endless variations of this one. My standard answer to this is a simple "I don't know'. Then I wait until the idiot on the other side of the conversation figures it out.
   
2. "Smith" - As in a patient walks up to the counter and says simply "Smith" or "Brown" or "Dipshit". Yea, I'm an intelligent person, I can figure out that your probably picking up something. (Extra points for the dipshit that does this at the Drop Off window). But that's not the point. It's fucking rude. At least preface it with a "Hi" or even "Pickup". Related to this is the idiot that just says "Picking up". Then stares at me. I just stare back, silently. Yea, I probably know you name, but I don't want you to know that...that would make it seem like a care about you on some level. I don't.
   
3. "Cough Cough" - You all know what this one is. There is a epidemic sweeping the nation. I call it Chronic Idiotpathic Inpatient Syndrome (CIIS for short). I keep a small bowel of cough drops at the counter and don't hesitate to offer one up to anyone that displays symptoms. Trust me. I know you are there. I have two cameras pointing at you, I have a clear view of the counter, you made eye contact with me twice while I was either on the phone or helping someone else. It is my job to help you. I will be there. Just as soon as I fucking can. As much as I would absolutely love to ignore your ass, I can't. Related to CIIS is Autoidiotdystrophy. This is characterized by the patient that randomly looses control of the muscles in his or her hands, causing the keys they were carrying to fall to the countertop.
   
4. I call this one FTS (Fish Tank Syndrome). Just because there is some plastic/glass/plexi-whatever in front of me doesn't mean I'm in a fish tank. Don't stand in front of me, don't follow me while I walk back and forth, and don't fucking stare. Unless your staring at my magnificent perfect male specimen of a body (which I highly doubt) - go find something else to look at, like I don't know, your own ass. If your gonna treat me like I'm in a fish tank, at least throw me some food or something.
5. My hands are clean. I wash them numerous times a day - probably more than you do from the looks of it. You can hand me your fucking prescriptions instead of tossing them on my counter, under my outstretched hand. Same goes for your money. Don't worry, I will sanitize my hands after you leave. Not your credit card though. Don't flick that baby onto the counter like your making a statement. The keypad is right under your nose.

Next time, a list of things pharmacists love to hear - note the sarcasm. In the meantime, I'd love to hear about other's pet peeves!

Lunch, who do you think you are?

The other day I got a request to transfer some medications back to our pharmacy from one of those $4.00 generic places. Every time we transfer scripts out to this place I know they will be back. The other pharmacy is simply too inconvenient for most of our customers to get to. Anyway, I digress.

This was a good customer of ours. By good, I mean they got a lot of stuff from us. They transferred a bunch of generics over there, but left some other medications here with us. He instructed us to not inform this other pharmacy about his Part D plan so they would be sure to give him the $4.00 price. Don't get me started about that. That has all kind of legal ramifications...a topic for another blog post.

Anyway, the patient tells me that he won't go there any more because when he went there last time, the pharmacy was closed for lunch. He said something to the effect of "Who do they think they are, closing for 30 minutes for lunch?"

Me: "Well, we're all humans and deserve to be able to eat something and turn our brains off for a few minutes during a 12 to 14 hour shift...and the pharmacy laws in this state entitle us to it."

PartD Man: "I didn't say that they didn't. If your going to eat, you need another pharmacist or technician there to keep things going."

Hmm. Wish I would tape record my conversations...imagine how useful that would be. Anyway, I don't know why I took this so far...our pharmacy doesn't close for lunch, I can usually eat while I work.

Me: "You kinda did say that. Anyway, you think your drugs are expensive now? Try adding another 6 figure salary to the payroll and see what happens. Plus, it's illegal for prescriptions to leave the pharmacy while a pharmacist is not physically present in the pharmacy."

PartD Man: "I worked for a company that operated 24/7".

I love when people throw in totally irrelevant facts into an argument. It's so cute.

Me: "Wow. You worked 24 hours straight, for 7 days without a break? That's impressive."

Anyway, at this point we both realized the argument was moot since my pharmacy doesn't close for lunch....though maybe next time I see him coming I'll put up the 'Back in 30 minutes" sign.